


Dragonheart of Darkness, aka Muggle Movie Madness

by aika_max



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Actors, Gen, Humor, Movie Reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 16:22:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3215639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aika_max/pseuds/aika_max
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the loss of Sirius, Arthur tries to cheer Harry by taking him to the Muggle movie Dragonheart. As with most of Arthur's good intentions, it doesn't go as smoothly as planned. Why does the young king look so familiar, and how do Madam Rosemerta and Lucius Malfoy fit in?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dragonheart of Darkness, aka Muggle Movie Madness

**Author's Note:**

> When I originally wrote this, I had called it Science Fiction Double Feature, which reminds people of Rocky Horror Picture Show instead of Dragonheart. This is that same story renamed.
> 
> Dragonheart was released in 1996, and would have been the same summer from when Sirius died.

Arthur Weasley breezed into the Burrow on a mission of good will. At least, that was his intention. Like any good husband, he wanted to clear his plans with his wife first.

"I want to take Harry to the Muggle movies. I think he'd like that," said Arthur without indicating that he would like it, too.

"I know he's been depressed with the loss of Sirius, but don't you think that family of his would have taken him to the movies?" Molly asked guardedly because she saw the glint in Arthur's eyes.

"Those... people," Arthur spat because there wasn't a polite way to describe the type of people he thought the Dursleys were, "have never done a kind thing for Harry."

"If you go," Molly started tactically, "I want you to take the rest of the kids and Remus. He's in need of some cheer, too." What she didn't state was that hopefully Remus could keep a watch on her husband, who often got too excited at the prospect of Muggle things.

"Smashing idea!" Arthur exclaimed. Hermione was a Muggle-born witch, and one of Lupin's parents was a Muggle-born. With their help, it should be a relatively easy to task to find a movie and watch it.

The next place for Arthur to visit would be Grimmauld Place, where he could find Remus recovering from the last night's full moon. Bill, Ron, Ginny and Hermione were there as well, though that couldn't have made for a quiet rest for the werewolf.

* * *

At Grimmauld Place, it was a much different scene. Remus was locked in his room to be safely away from the others. Bill was there to guard him, and Ron, Ginny and Hermione were just there-in the way, at least, according to Bill.

"Go get Remus, Bill! We're off to the movies," Arthur said with his normal joie de vivre.

"Dad, he just spent a full moon doing you know what. Don't you think he needs some time alone?" Bill warned sensibly.

"No! What he needs is someone to cheer him up, and so does Harry. We're going to get him straight away," he said. "Son, go get Remus!"

Bill shook his head at his father and walked up the stairs to the werewolf's room. He knocked on the door and didn't get a response. Being worried for his safety, Bill magically unlocked the door. Once the door was open, Bill, the hardened Gringotts curse breaker, screamed like a little girl.

Ginny, an actual girl, was coming toward him at the time, and she wanted to know what the ruckus was about that would cause her ever cool brother to lose it. She tried looking for herself in Lupin's room, but Bill prevented her.

He immediately reached his hand to cover his sister's eyes. "Ginny, there are just some things, you shouldn't see," he warned on a shaky breath.

Ginny was having none of it, and moved his hand off to look at Remus standing in his room. "Oh, my..." the girl gulped. The almost-fifteen-year-old blushed as red as her Weasley hair and went downstairs.

At the bottom of the stairs the youngest Weasley was fanning herself, when Hermione and Ron came across her. "What is it?" Hermione asked.

"You know, I have dated other boys, don't you?" Ginny asked, flummoxed.

"Yeah," Ron said in consternation. He was never fond of Ginny dating more than he did.

"I didn't know they could look like  _that_ ," she said incredulously while making some vague hand motion.

"Like what?" Hermione said with interest.

Ginny whistled. "Well, uh... I can't tell you in front of Ron."

"I am a guy, you know!" he said in annoyance.

"Right, but somehow I don't think you look like..." Seeing her other brother and the werewolf in question descending the stairs, Ginny stopped. "Nothing."

Arthur popped in to greet them. "Good to see you, Remus. So is everyone ready to go?"

"Where?" asked Ron.

"We're going to take Harry out to the movies, give him a bit of cheer, you know," his father said.

"I'm  _not_  going with you," Bill said oddly, as he'd normally be with the crowd.

At the same time, Remus perked up with interest. "I want to see  _American Werewolf in London_."

"Maybe we should let Harry pick, Mr. Weasley," suggested Hermione.

"Good show, Hermione. Let's go!" he said before the lot of five took a portkey to Privet Drive.

* * *

At Privet Drive, Harry was upstairs in his room, hiding from his family. Even though he was staring despondently out the window, he wasn't too far gone to notice the group of three wizards and two witches who walked onto the groomed lawn. Immediately he opened the window.

"What are you doing here?" he stage whispered to his friends below.

"We're here to take you out to the movies," Mr. Weasley said with a smile of great satisfaction.

Meanwhile, Remus muttered something again about  _American Werewolf in London_.

Harry looked over his shoulder and then back to them before answering, "I'll be right down."

He managed to get to the front door with little resistance. The group of five noticed the three Dursleys clutching the door frame for dear life and staring out at them in trepidation. Almost as one, they offered a friendly wave, which sent the skittish Muggles deeper inside their home for protective cover.

Harry looked to each one and asked, "What are we seeing?"

"Well, Mate," Ron advised, "you should really be the one to pick."

Potter looked thoughtful as he spoke. "Dud and his friends saw this one a few days ago that they seemed to like real well. It's called  _Dragonheart_ , and supposedly the king is a real pisser."

"What? No werewolves?" Remus said with disappointment.

Hermione was annoyed and tried to shush him. Ginny, on the other hand, said, "Why don't we just get you a big bucket of that popping corn? Will that make you feel better?"

"Mmmm," Lupin murmured, licking his lips at the thought.

* * *

When the group of six arrived at the movie theater, Harry and Hermione were in charge of purchasing the tickets. Lupin and Ginny went in search of the popcorn she had suggested. Lupin bought the biggest one there was, and Ginny just stared in amazement.

"Oh my god! It's so big!" she said in disbelief.

"I know," he said with a wild light in his eyes, "and it's all  _mine!"_

"You mean you're not going to share?" the girl asked in disappointment.

"Not on your life!" he said with a laugh.

She rolled her eyes at him and then noticed that it was time to go find their seats. As a group they sat with Mr. Weasley on one end, Harry next to him, Ron and Hermione together in the middle, Ginny next to Hermione, and Remus with his huge bucket of popcorn at the other end of the group.

The lights in the theater went down and the movie began. It was all rather pleasant with no embarrassing behavior from anyone in the group, with the exception of Remus. Harry, cornered by Arthur at the opposite end of the row, had never seen his former professor act so impertinent unless it was in reaction to Severus Snape. The werewolf was sitting eating from his gigantic bucket of popcorn, laughing loudly in some scenes, and throwing bits and pieces of his prized popcorn at other movie-goers.

Soon enough, it was not Remus that made Harry worry, but Mr. Weasley. After some minutes into the movie, he was shaking in his seat, barely able to contain himself. He was swearing oaths under his breath, and some words Harry hadn't ever heard before.

"What is it, Mr. Weasley?" Harry asked his host with concern.

"Lucius Malfoy," he said venomously. "That damned ruddy prick Lucius Malfoy!"

Harry's jaw dropped. "What?"

"He can change his colors, but he's still a snake," Arthur hissed for emphasis. "How he broke out of Azkaban, I'll never know, Harry."

Harry quickly scanned the other people in the seats. "Where is he?" he asked, fingering his wand.

"Up there!" Arthur said, standing and pointing his wand to the movie screen. "Show yourself, Malfoy!" he shouted.

A chorus of people made random comments like 'Sit down!' and 'Shut the hell up, old man!' A few people even threw popcorn at the man. Harry, tried to pull the man to sit back down.

Remus, watching the display with interest, decided to take some of his precious popcorn and throw some back at the people who'd assaulted Arthur. That started another volley of food in their direction, but the wizard aimed with accurate glee at the other people.

"Remus, will you behave?" Ginny pleaded with embarrassment at what the supposed adult was doing.

"No!" he said with wolfish delight shining in his eyes as he leaned in close to her face to tell her.

Ginny gulped and leaned away from him, right into Hermione, who was gasping at what she saw on screen.

"Oh, my!" the girl said, now fanning herself in a way similar to what Ginny had done earlier.

"What?" Ron said in the confusion of what was going on from both ends of their row.

Hermione pointed at "Lucius" on screen. He man was standing there in just his skivvies, and the girl couldn't take her eyes off of him. "If I would have known Draco's dad looked like that, I would have been nicer to the little ferret!"

"That's. Not. Draco's father!" Ron ground out.

"I don't know," Harry said, though he still had a firm grip on Mr. Weasley. "The face is the same..."

"And the body?" Hermione asked with a hopeful tone.

Both Harry and Ron groaned at the implications of that thought.

"I think I'm going to be scarred for life," Ron muttered, decidedly not wanting to think of a naked Lucius Malfoy.

* * *

On the other side of Hermione, Ginny was watching the screen for a different reason. The young king had a familiar look to him. As Remus laughed about something in the movie, she looked at him.

Her eyes widened in disbelief. Quickly she looked back and forth from the screen to the man sitting beside her. No, it couldn't be! Well, it  _could_  be, but maybe it was some hereditary madness she'd gotten from her father.

"Remus," Ginny asked, lightly touching his hair, "what do you think of the king?" She nodded her head toward the screen.

"Right handsome bloke," Lupin said. "Sure, he's evil, and he wants that redheaded chit," he said, first pointing to the screen and then looking at Ginny as he said "redheaded." Continuing, Remus said, "But he does have style."

"Sure," she gulped while she watched the werewolf pick at the remains of his popcorn.

She kept trying to glance surreptitiously from the man beside her to the man on the screen. Ginny knew it wasn't working when she felt a hand cuff her on the back of her head.

"Ow!" she snarled at her brother.

"What is it?" he mouthed, not meaning the way he'd just gotten her attention.

Using her eyes, Ginny looked pointedly at the screen and then nodded her head back to Remus. She willed Ron to understand her without having to say the words.

Ron's eyes widened in horror. Then he turned to Harry, "What kind of freaky movie did you pick?"

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, still embarrassed because of Mr. Weasley's outburst.

"Look at the screen," said Ron. "Doesn't he remind you of someone sitting right beside my  _sister_?"

"Wha...?" Harry started to ask with his mouth open. When Ron leaned back so Harry could get a good view, Lupin turned to him with a guileless expression.

"Oh, my god!" Harry gasped.

Hermione was too enthralled with the movie, and shushed her friends around her. Meanwhile, Harry, Ron and Ginny sat uncomfortably in their chairs. Mr. Weasley sulked on his end of the row muttering curses he wanted to perform on Lucius, and Remus seemed to find his that his bucket of popcorn wasn't endless after all.

* * *

As Harry sat by the fuming Mr. Weasley and a few seats away from the werewolf, he noticed something else that made him start. He shook his head and took his glasses off clean them while he muttered under his breath.

"What now?" Ron asked as he was trying to ignore Hermione's rapt attention to the movie.

Harry slurred something that sounded to Ron's ears like "rose murder".

He scrunched up his face and asked, "Huh?"

"Madam Rosemerta," Harry spat like venom.

"Is she here, too?" Ron asked, looking around in interest.

"No! The king's mother is Madam Rosemerta!" Harry said, feeling completely at a loss. "Remus's mother is Rosemerta!"

"Remus's mother!" Ron exclaimed a bit too loudly.

"What about my mother?" the werewolf bellowed.

Thinking quickly, Ron looked at him and said, "Nothing! We're sure she was a very fine woman."

Lupin gave a derisive snort, but did not verbally comment.

* * *

They all sat until the end of the movie, and the teenagers stayed to read the roll of the credits. The act surprised Arthur, who wanted to leave, and Remus, who wanted some more snacks, likely chocolate this time. As they left the movies, three names were on their lips.

"Julie Christie," was the name Harry spoke.

"Jason Isaacs," Ron contributed.

"And David Thewlis," Ginny said when they were finally standing outside.

Ron and Harry nodded at her, and Hermione asked what the importance of those names was.

"Hermione, didn't you notice anything besides that Lucius look-alike?" Ginny asked impatiently.

"Uh-uh," the girl denied, "and he was gone from the movie too soon. I kept hoping he'd come back."

"Didn't the king look the least bit  _familiar_  to you?" she asked as if she were talking to an idiot.

"Like who?" Hermione asked with a scoffing laugh.

"Like Remus!" Ginny said as she jerked her thumb in his direction.

"Remus?" the other girl asked.

"What about me?" he inquired.

"Nothing," Ginny grumbled. "I think I've seen more sides of you tonight than I ever expected."

He looked as nonplussed about that statement as he had when she'd been staring at him in his room earlier.

"I'm sorry, Harry," apologized Arthur. "This did not work out as well as I had planned."

"That's because you  _should_  have seen the werewolf movie!" Remus said in exasperation.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," advised Ron.

"Well, Harry, what about you?" Lupin asked with his deceptively slight smile. "Are you ready to go back to the Dursleys?"

"No," he said, vehemently not wanting to return to his room on Privet Drive.

"Then it's settled!" the werewolf smiled with enthusiasm. "Let's go see another!"

Hermione had immediate enthusiasm for the idea, and the others slowly came to agreement until Ginny asked a question. "One last thing, Remus. Is David Thewlis in this movie?"

His bright eyes held confusion as he asked her, "David  _who_?"


End file.
